


Omnipresence in Oblivion

by ElricLawliet



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: and various neutral endings, mentions of no mercy routes, sad dad gaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5760052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElricLawliet/pseuds/ElricLawliet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is [REDACTED], and you are Nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Omnipresence in Oblivion

You came to terms with the fact that you are now Nothing a long time ago.

Well, that's not quite right. You didn't come to terms with anything a long time ago, because Nothing has no concept of time or linear progression or continuity so you can't really say that you've come to terms with anything ever, really. You can but you can't, you are but you aren't, you see everything and nothing all at once and forever and

You went insane a long time ago.

(but not really, you know)

You suppose its a side effect of being everywhere and nowhere, of watching a world that held you once but now holds nothing about you, nothing but a shadow of a memory of a dream's dream, deep in the recesses of minds that once held you dear.

And you wish, all at once and forever and over and over that you had died properly, but to have died would have required living at all and you didn't even do that, now, because these are the consequences of meddling in the affairs of time and reality, and if you still had a back you'd probably feel your sins crawling on it.

But you are Nothing now. Omnipresent and omniscient and nowhere and Nothing.

It would be exhausting, if you still had a body to exhaust, the amount of backwards thinking and undoing of thought and consciousness; and you tired very quickly of trying to apply logic to your circumstance, of trying to keep track of anything that had to do with you personally because it's all just an endless, unmanageably tangled loop of forevers and nevers and always and beginnings that were never conceived and ends that never happened. There was a time when you tried to fix it, fix yourself and your mistakes but that seems to be just like everything else now—beyond your reach. If you looked hard enough you have no doubt that you could see a way it could be done but it wouldn't matter because you don't exist now, and you are only a silent observer with an endless amount of time who can and will see everything and all solutions but have no power to act on them or anything else.

You watch your sons now, instead.

In the end there is probably an underlying level of masochism to it, because even the happy endings are bittersweet, because even freed and within the reach of happiness he continues to look for you, continues to try to find a way to reverse mistakes and errors that are not his to reverse and it eats away at him, rots the happiness he could have.

You wish forever that you had been forgotten entirely.

You cannot begin to put into words what it is like to watch your sons now. Endless timelines and possibilities that stretch forever, ending and beginning over and over and over; they will never be free and you know this, watch helpless as they try to have any manner of control over their lives.

You watch your youngest outstretch trusting arms and crumble to dust, you watch him become king and suffer with a smile on his face while your oldest kills children behind his back, you see him serve a distopian king and never mourn the friends he doesn't know he's lost.

You watch your oldest give everything he has to a hopeless cause, to look for you and a way out and a single grain of hope where there is nothing to find, you see him find his brother's dust and see the last of what he has drain from his eyes as he wraps the scarf around his neck, you see him give everything he has left to give and some that he doesn't to stall a child bent on wreaking hell and save a world he doesn't even want to live in, you see him fail and watch as he crumbles behind the human's back, tears finally breaking free of empty sockets.

This is your eternity now.

You watch forever in your nonexistence, watch as they live, as they suffer, as they die, and die, and die and die and die die di̛e̸ d́i̵e҉ d̶́͠i̵̴è̕--

And you cannot do anything about it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> very much inspired by [this ask](http://askgasterfamily.tumblr.com/post/133603289468/so-in-the-void-whats-it-like-seeing-your-kiddos) found at a really awesome ask blog that i love


End file.
